photo by Ben White
For those reading who know me… it comes at no surprise that I have been battling health issues for going on 6 years. The battle has been difficult as I have chased after natural solutions that have provided me no relief or long term cure. The medical community’s solution is even worse so I have decided not to even venture down that route. Many things that have cured so many others have not cured me. It has been a tough battle that has left me discouraged especially since I desire to have more children.
In addition to my own personal battle, I also have had the battle of my daughter’s delays. Many times I have to choose to treat her over me just as a matter of cost (natural doctors are expensive!). Each time something fails, it is just more money down the drain, and more time wasted. It is very very discouraging. You want the best for your child and when you see her developmentally behind all the kids her age (and the other kids her age looking at her like she is “weird”), it hurts. It hurts in places you didn’t even know existed. You wonder if you are doing EVERYTHING you can do to help as well. There is constant doubt and constant defeat. As each mom offers their “tidbit” of advice to you, it only serves to water the plant of inadequacy… reminding you that maybe you AREN’T doing everything because you haven’t tried “that”. Practitioners offer empty promises that they can “help” you but when you don’t see results in a month, you doubt it. Of course they will say “oh it takes more time”, but as the parent you have to decide to spend more money on something that doesn’t seem to be working, or move on towards the next solution. It isn’t an easy decision to make and you always doubt your decisions. Under all of this is just the desire to be normal. You desire normalcy for yourself, for your family, for your finances. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend $300 on a vacation vs on another doctor appt? Its also hard not to compare when you see women who eat poorly, easily getting pregnant with no health issues. You see parents feeding their kids crap, and their kids are developing normally.
Anyway, one thing that I have prepared to help me deal with all that is to create a playlist for myself. I play this playlist whenever I am discouraged and I need encouragement and/or a reminder that God is in control. All the songs on this list are Christian songs because Christ is the only source of hope in my life, as it should be. Of course this is NOT a substitute for time in the word or prayer, but it definitely helps me in a different way. Sometimes I am too defeated to pray (if that makes sense) and these songs remind me of God’s promises. I hope they can provide some encouragement to you as well.
1. Carry Me – Steve Camp
2. The Hurt & The Healer – MercyMe
3. In Christ Alone – MercyMe (although many artists have sung this)
4. Come Alive (Dry Bones) – Lauren Daigle
5. Shoulders – For King & Country
6. Stronger – Mandisa
7. Trust in You – Lauren Daigle (this is one of my FAVORITES! if I only have time to listen to one song, it is this one)
8. Even If- Kutless
9. Thy Will – Hillary Scott & The Scott Family
10. It’s Not Over Yet – For King & Country
11. First – Lauren Daigle
Disclaimer: I have heard all these songs for the most part on Christian radio. I do not know everything about the artist, who they affiliate with, and/or what their doctrinal views are. Please take these songs for what they are. As always use discernment, even when listening to music.
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